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His mother had assured him that they would continue the tradition every Fourth of July while he was gone, with a special grande finale just for him. His family would watch the fiery blossoms, think of him and send him their prayers and love. When he got back home, he’d have to tell them about this night and how the fireworks display from a German Panther tank had saved his life. More importantly, when he got back, he’d have to tell Lula that what had happened between him and Justine Farewell was a mistake—a horrible, misguided attempt to bring normalcy back to his life. He would never make that mistake again. He’d spend the rest of his life showing her how much she meant to him. He’d do everything in his power to make sure that he’d never break her heart again—she deserved that much. ******************* Raleigh, North Carolina— July 1, 1941 After Lula and Daniel’s confrontation at the smokehouse earlier that morning, breakfast at the Carven house had been a sullen and disconcerting. I would have been happy for her happiness. I wasn't. Like most men and women I don't love the person I'm with, their happiness comes third. First is my happiness and second is my pride. To this day I cannot justify why people are angry when they find out they aren't the only person their loved one has sex with. It's stupid and if I were a real man it wouldn't have upset me, but it did.I wanted a divorce. Jasmine wanted half. More than that she wanted to stay Mrs. Renaud. She was aware that splitting what I had would probably bankrupt me in the long run. No matter what she took there was no way I'd be able to run my business without it all. We stayed married. We tried counseling, therapy. Everything. Eventually I started to learn to live with the fact that my wife was a cheating whore.The more I think about it the worse I feel. It was hard enough to rationalize being upset about sex when it was just a thought in my head. Now that I can see and hear them as actual words I know that I'm.
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